I think after 17 1/2 years my little dg deserves his own post on the day he died. We always said he was like the energizer bunny and it is true until the end. He was deaf, blind and struggling with incontinence. It was decided that he needed a helping hand as he just kept going. Having him put down was the kind thin but my parent's place won't seem the same without him. After all he has been there since I was ten.
As tempting as it is for me to do a Eulogy for him most of my readers knew him anyways so I won't. But I am sad he is gone. There will never be another Dunamis and I am glad he was mine for so many years.
Monday, 19 March 2012
Tuesday, 13 March 2012
On my own...
Today is my first full day of just me an my two kidlets. It has just been Owen and I but now I am parenting two kids for a full day. What have I learned?
-they do not sync their nap times and needs in a way that benefits me
-Hadassah thinks Owen and I are boring
-As much as I love anything historical and have always imagined living in by-gone eras I would never have survived.
This last realization came to me as I was loading the dishwasher. I love my dishwasher. I hate loading and emptying it BUT without it I would have been washing the dishes by hand... or letting them pile up until my house was a filthy mess. Unless of course I happened to be a wealthy person then I'd definitely have a servant/slave. Perhaps, I would have been tougher back in the olden days but more than likely I'd have been more exhausted and run into the ground... And that is with just two kids.
On the other hand, I'd probably have died trying to give birth to Hadassah and therefore I'd be dead and not worrying about any of this. So I guess I just happened to be born in the correct era for me. Who know that God knew that?
Things are going well. It looks like my hernia repair surgery will be April 10. As much as I am dreading yet another surgery I am looking forward to it being done.
Owen is currently napping in his stretcher thingy and Hadassah is practicing her art on her magnetic board. It is actually quiet at the moment. That is why I am squeezing in blogging between Owen demanding food or to be held or Hadassah getting into things or demanding attention.
I spoke to soon. The princess is kissing my screen... time to go I guess.
-they do not sync their nap times and needs in a way that benefits me
-Hadassah thinks Owen and I are boring
-As much as I love anything historical and have always imagined living in by-gone eras I would never have survived.
This last realization came to me as I was loading the dishwasher. I love my dishwasher. I hate loading and emptying it BUT without it I would have been washing the dishes by hand... or letting them pile up until my house was a filthy mess. Unless of course I happened to be a wealthy person then I'd definitely have a servant/slave. Perhaps, I would have been tougher back in the olden days but more than likely I'd have been more exhausted and run into the ground... And that is with just two kids.
On the other hand, I'd probably have died trying to give birth to Hadassah and therefore I'd be dead and not worrying about any of this. So I guess I just happened to be born in the correct era for me. Who know that God knew that?
Things are going well. It looks like my hernia repair surgery will be April 10. As much as I am dreading yet another surgery I am looking forward to it being done.
Owen is currently napping in his stretcher thingy and Hadassah is practicing her art on her magnetic board. It is actually quiet at the moment. That is why I am squeezing in blogging between Owen demanding food or to be held or Hadassah getting into things or demanding attention.
I spoke to soon. The princess is kissing my screen... time to go I guess.
Thursday, 1 March 2012
Ready, set, lose weight!
Now that I am done giving birth I really feel I can knuckle down and lose my blubber. After Hadassah I did lose a lot of weight but at the back of my mind I did have that horrid thought of what's the point? No excuses now. So I have been thinking about how I will lose the extra weight. Currently I am just cutting back on the amount I eat. I have three more weeks until I can start exercising and that makes me impatient. By the end of summer I would love to be 135lb. That is my goal anyways and that is about 32lbs. Once I get there I will see how fit I am and how I feel and whether I want to go lower. I fluctuated between 120lbs and 125lbs pre-pregnancies but I'd rather be a bit heavier and a lot more fit. After Hadassah I got down to 140lbs and got stuck when I stopped exercising. So, my weight gain this pregnancy was significantly less.
The funny thin is, I don't think of my self as overweight. Oh if I look at my reflection too long I can get quite depressed but I still imagine myself skinny. Sometimes when I do catch my reflection I don't even recognize the person if the mirror. I don't want the now me to be the norm. And while my stretch marks and extra skin is not going to disappear I would like to be a healthy weight. The biggest place I notice the weight is when I ride (and it is not just because of the not so flattering riding pants!) I don't feel as balanced and I sure find a lot of things a lot harder.
I hope to stay accountable on the weight loss and hopefully don't overeat too much. Why I over eat is not some deep reason it is simply the fact that I love food and no longer have my high metabolism to fall back on. Pregnancy took care of that!
The funny thin is, I don't think of my self as overweight. Oh if I look at my reflection too long I can get quite depressed but I still imagine myself skinny. Sometimes when I do catch my reflection I don't even recognize the person if the mirror. I don't want the now me to be the norm. And while my stretch marks and extra skin is not going to disappear I would like to be a healthy weight. The biggest place I notice the weight is when I ride (and it is not just because of the not so flattering riding pants!) I don't feel as balanced and I sure find a lot of things a lot harder.
I hope to stay accountable on the weight loss and hopefully don't overeat too much. Why I over eat is not some deep reason it is simply the fact that I love food and no longer have my high metabolism to fall back on. Pregnancy took care of that!
Monday, 27 February 2012
My lost kitty
So many things to blog about with my little son at home and I am blogging about my cat. Tirzah has been missing since Friday and I feel so hopeless about it. I know cats can come back after extended periods of time but I also know we have a lot of coyotes around. And even though Tirzah was quick and smart she wasn't a ninja or anything. It also was strange for her to disappear just when the temperatures dropped.
Now everyone is probably thinking stop talking about a dumb cat and talk about little Owen. He's cute, he poops and the reason I haven't been blogging is he eats all the time... No lie. And he is a slow eater too. And he wants to eat right now so this is a short update.
Now everyone is probably thinking stop talking about a dumb cat and talk about little Owen. He's cute, he poops and the reason I haven't been blogging is he eats all the time... No lie. And he is a slow eater too. And he wants to eat right now so this is a short update.
Saturday, 11 February 2012
My scheduled C-section
I thought I'd share my personal experience with one for anyone who is curious. I'll try to remember what I can but as any new mother can attest life with a newborn can be kind of hazy.
February 6, Monday, 4:30am:
The alarm went off and it was time to get up and ready. I was tired as I hadn't slept overly well due to the fact that I knew I was going to be having a baby and major surgery. The whole thing seemed so surreal still.
Matt and I got ready, I drooled over the smell of his toasted egg sandwich and we headed for the hospital for my c-section. This was unknown territory for me as my first c-section I had no idea I was getting one until I got to the hospital. We got to Maternity at six and met the nurse. She settled us in our room and I got into my gown. I was of course asked a billion questions and repeated information that you get used to giving a hundred times like your last name, birth date and allergies.
The nurse put my iv in and gave me that lovely bitter stuff to drink. My surgery was going to be at 8:30 and so she waited to put in my catheter. That was when things got not so nice. Though the nurse was double checking everything (I even saw her do so) she accidentally put in a latex catheter. And because I am such a wimp with medical procedures I found myself having trouble adjusting to having one in. It was bothering me and then it started burning. Time passed, the nurse change happened and then when I could stand it no longer I told Matt to go tell the nurses the catheter was feeling worse not better. Matt came back and told me the nurse was checking (she was an older nurse) to see if they put the wrong catheter in. Which was exactly what happened. So the whole time I was telling myself it was in my head my poor body was reacting to latex! Unfortunately, they had to immediately replace the latex one instead of waiting until I had the spinal because of swelling. They were worried they wouldn't be able to get the non-latex one in.
Shortly after the catheter was replaced we headed down to the OR. I was asked by the OR nurse all those same questions again and then we waited not too long and I was taken into surgery to get my spinal, my big fear. I did pretty good until the spinal was taking effect and then I almost passed out. Thankfully, I know what that feels like so they laid me down and I didn't pass out in the Maternity nurse's arms and have a seizure. I made it through that part but then I hyper-ventilated a bit. Matt was brought in and well, I don't remember the next part well as I was not doing so hot. After getting some oxygen and something in my IV I became a little more coherent. My doctor and the gyno/ob came in and the show was got on the road.
I cried when I heard the baby and also when they confirmed it really was a boy. It didn't take long for them to show him to me. He was so tiny and it made both Matt and I so happy to see him healthy and whole. After they cleaned him up they let me hold him while I was receiving my tubal. I was very alert and awake for this so I was glad Matt and I got this time.
Matt, baby, and the maternity nurse left the room and I was taken out shortly after. Instead of being in recovery alone, Matt, baby and the maternity nurse were there. This time around I got to do skin on skin immediately after having the baby and spent the majority of the time in recovery with my new baby and husband. When they did finally leave to take Owen upstairs I only had to stay in recovery for about ten more minutes. That was a lot nicer this time.
Recovery since then has been better I would say. I stayed in the hospital the full three days anyways because once you go home, you go home. Still, it is nice to be home with my little family. Dassa is quite good with her brother and only has the occasional neediness over me doing things with him. I also am enjoying having my husband home for a week.
February 6, Monday, 4:30am:
The alarm went off and it was time to get up and ready. I was tired as I hadn't slept overly well due to the fact that I knew I was going to be having a baby and major surgery. The whole thing seemed so surreal still.
Matt and I got ready, I drooled over the smell of his toasted egg sandwich and we headed for the hospital for my c-section. This was unknown territory for me as my first c-section I had no idea I was getting one until I got to the hospital. We got to Maternity at six and met the nurse. She settled us in our room and I got into my gown. I was of course asked a billion questions and repeated information that you get used to giving a hundred times like your last name, birth date and allergies.
The nurse put my iv in and gave me that lovely bitter stuff to drink. My surgery was going to be at 8:30 and so she waited to put in my catheter. That was when things got not so nice. Though the nurse was double checking everything (I even saw her do so) she accidentally put in a latex catheter. And because I am such a wimp with medical procedures I found myself having trouble adjusting to having one in. It was bothering me and then it started burning. Time passed, the nurse change happened and then when I could stand it no longer I told Matt to go tell the nurses the catheter was feeling worse not better. Matt came back and told me the nurse was checking (she was an older nurse) to see if they put the wrong catheter in. Which was exactly what happened. So the whole time I was telling myself it was in my head my poor body was reacting to latex! Unfortunately, they had to immediately replace the latex one instead of waiting until I had the spinal because of swelling. They were worried they wouldn't be able to get the non-latex one in.
Shortly after the catheter was replaced we headed down to the OR. I was asked by the OR nurse all those same questions again and then we waited not too long and I was taken into surgery to get my spinal, my big fear. I did pretty good until the spinal was taking effect and then I almost passed out. Thankfully, I know what that feels like so they laid me down and I didn't pass out in the Maternity nurse's arms and have a seizure. I made it through that part but then I hyper-ventilated a bit. Matt was brought in and well, I don't remember the next part well as I was not doing so hot. After getting some oxygen and something in my IV I became a little more coherent. My doctor and the gyno/ob came in and the show was got on the road.
I cried when I heard the baby and also when they confirmed it really was a boy. It didn't take long for them to show him to me. He was so tiny and it made both Matt and I so happy to see him healthy and whole. After they cleaned him up they let me hold him while I was receiving my tubal. I was very alert and awake for this so I was glad Matt and I got this time.
Matt, baby, and the maternity nurse left the room and I was taken out shortly after. Instead of being in recovery alone, Matt, baby and the maternity nurse were there. This time around I got to do skin on skin immediately after having the baby and spent the majority of the time in recovery with my new baby and husband. When they did finally leave to take Owen upstairs I only had to stay in recovery for about ten more minutes. That was a lot nicer this time.
Recovery since then has been better I would say. I stayed in the hospital the full three days anyways because once you go home, you go home. Still, it is nice to be home with my little family. Dassa is quite good with her brother and only has the occasional neediness over me doing things with him. I also am enjoying having my husband home for a week.
Sunday, 5 February 2012
Tomorrow
Tomorrow my son (possibly daughter) will be born. It seems so surreal. I feel like I'm forgetting something or missing something or just not ready. Our lives are going to change yet again. It is a big day as tonight will be my last night ever as a pregnant person. And that doesnt make me sad rather relieved which tells me we are making the right decision.
I don't think there is a wrong or right number of children to have but I do know for me to be pregnant again it wouldn't be fair to anyone including myself. Some people feel it is disobeying God's command to be fruitful and multiply but that is taking scripture way out of context. Hello, the world is already well populated!
I'm also nervous of recovery. I hate that feeling you have after surgery of not being quite right. I also am not a fan of surgery and that whole bit. But I am excited to have this baby and well I have little choice as he must come out!
Well, I should try to sleep. We have to be at the hospital by 6:00am (yikes!). Here is the last photo of my pregnant belly! And yes, he bumps into things a lot.
I don't think there is a wrong or right number of children to have but I do know for me to be pregnant again it wouldn't be fair to anyone including myself. Some people feel it is disobeying God's command to be fruitful and multiply but that is taking scripture way out of context. Hello, the world is already well populated!
I'm also nervous of recovery. I hate that feeling you have after surgery of not being quite right. I also am not a fan of surgery and that whole bit. But I am excited to have this baby and well I have little choice as he must come out!
Well, I should try to sleep. We have to be at the hospital by 6:00am (yikes!). Here is the last photo of my pregnant belly! And yes, he bumps into things a lot.
Wednesday, 1 February 2012
Heartbreak
A lot of you probably have learned about the twins who perished in the tragic house fire in Mackenzie. I learned about it this morning and felt so much pain for the family. If I, who doesn't even know the people, can feel the heartbreak I can't even imagine what they must be suffering. The what ifs and if onlys will be haunting them. They need our prayers desperately right now.
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