Detox and withdrawl

The time has arrived for Hadassah to be weaned from her soother. It took almost two years to get her addicted to the plug, much longer than expected. For all that time if we saw her thumb in her mouth we told her "no thumb" and replaced it with her soother. Then a few months ago she actually started looking for her "sue" herself and asking for it. She calls out "sue, where are youuuu?" It is very cute but unfortunately she still sucks her thumb. So, sue is just for nighttime and car rides (times when I cannot remind her not to suck her thumb.)


This is where the withdrawl comes in. I try to keep all soothers out of sight but the kid has them stashed everywhere. Ones I haven't seen for ages suddenly turn up in her mouth. And if she happens to see one it goes in her mouth or she cries and reaches for it if it is in sight but out of reach. When I take them from her at times she has bawled as though she has injured herself beyond repair. You would think the child was hurt not merely wanting her "fix".

Most of the time, so long as soothers are out of sight, she is good now. She plays and doesn't even miss her sue. But when I take it from her in the morning or after nap we usually have some sort of protest that happens. It has been rough but I think I do see light at the end of this tunnel.

Since the soother has become a nap time/ night time occurrence I must say it hasn't been hard getting her to go to bed. Some nights she even wants to go to bed early just to have her soother.

And as human being myself who has struggled with addictions I realize that it isn't easy. Reminding myself that her flinging herself on the floor in a fit because she can't have her "fix" is no different than how I feel when God tells me to let something go. Sometimes we do well but then we see or hear or have some sort of trigger that reminds us of what we have given up and then we feel like we are back to square one of giving whatever the addictions is to God.

In the case of an addiction that isn't sin when done in moderation it would often be easier to just give it up entirely. I know if I could take Hadassah's sue away from her and throw them all out it wouldn't take long her for her to forget about them. Of course that isn't really dealing with the addiction as her thumb would just replace the sue. And often, if we don't have a heart change we will just replace the addiction in our lives with something else. For instance a smoker will often turn to food for their oral fixation.

I know their are a lot of wholes in my examples today. For one, some people might not even understand why I am taking my daughter's sue away in the first place. She is after all just a tot and hardly "sinning". But this was just something I got out of the experience. And I am not saying that God doesn't tell you to completely give something up. Nor am I saying that it is wrong to completely give something up. But for me I often feel God is teaching me moderation rather than abstinence in the cases of such addictions as computers, tv, reading, and food.

So instead of not having sweets in my house I choose to have sweets in my house and control myself in how many I eat. It is the harder route for sure but it is where I feel I am at.

Big girl bed

Tonight is Hadassah's first night in a toddler bed. Today we picked her up the Disney Princess Canopy bed from walmart. She cried but that isn't uncommon for her. She often cries at bedtime. After getting out twice she has remained put for 45 minutes. Hopefully it goes smoothly tonight but I can tell you I am filled with all sorts of doubts. I hear her chatting away in her room (as she usually does) but I really want to go and peek in on her but I am controlling myself.

I find that these big steps in parenting for me are filled with so much doubt. Everyone has a different opinion on when a child is read for this or that. Of course many people admit each child is unique and you as the parent will "know".  It is that knowing that I struggle with. Is Hadassah old enough for a toddler bed? Is Hadassah old enough to know she has to eat the food she doesn't like? Is she old enough not to know she shouldn't suck her thumb? Everyone will have a different opinion on it but you as a the parent make the decision for your child. It is the decision making that I struggle with. The guilt that I am asking too much or too little. The knowledge that as a parent I am going to make (and have made) mistakes troubles me.

But for now, Dassa is safe and sound in her bed (I hope) and I am ready for my own bed. The decision to put her in a toddler bed is made (and to avoid the change happening when Baby is ready for to graduate from the bassinet). Now let us see if I can actually get sleep tonight.

Too cute for words

That is my daughter. She is still at the stage that even her fits are cute and it takes all my man power not to smile when she throws herself upon the floor in protest because I am being "mean".  Today it is the two of us again. Back to normal. And everything I do she must do with me. Yes, it makes certain tasks take twice as long but I love her expressions and chatter. Even as tiring as sharing my water bottle gets I would not change any part of her little personality (or big personality).

Right now she is seated beside me, singing and playing with the blanket that is over both our laps. Every once in a while she reaches over and tries to help with my typing even though she knows my keyboard is off limits. Before I even have a chance to correct her she often rips her hand away and smacks the pillow in anger.

Yesterday she held her fork in both hands and stabbed her pancake while saying, repeatedly, "die, die, die"

All these things, even when slightly distributing, are moments that remind me why I am a mother and why I am a stay at home mother. For me, it would be awful to have her discover all these new things and develop under someone else's gaze. I am not saying this to make those who cannot stay at home feel guilty but rather to remind myself not to feel guilty about staying home.

You see, in today's society if a woman doesn't embrace the feminist movement, control or at least 50/50 the purse strings, have a career, or even place her kid in daycare she can often be viewed as less of a woman. Because it is my "right" to have a career many woman believe it is some how letting down womanhood to choose not to have one but rather be old fashioned and stay at home.

I am not saying having a career is wrong for a woman. And I am thankful women can work outside the home now and things have changed. But it is not for everyone. Just because I have chosen to stay at home with my daughter instead of going back to work doesn't make me less of a modern woman. It just means I have different priorities. I am thankful that I can stay at home and even if it means giving up the extra cash it is worth it for me.

So, if you are a mother feeling guilty for not bringing in the money, stop. The moments you have with your child/children is far greater than any monetary gain you might receive from having a job outside the home.

Everyone loves Marineland!

... except for the protestors we drove past to get in. Yes, we ignored them and went anyways. At the gate we were met with Marineland employees who gave us brochures on why the animals are not in torment... but let's start at the beginning.

We arrived in Niagara falls at 2am Toronto time. Hadassah traveled like a pro. I didn't even have to resort to cracking open her 'trunkie' to occupy her. And she also slept for an hour or so during air turbulence.

Today she continued on in her superstar behaviour. As I mentioned we went to Marineland, We ate a picnic lunch first thing and then headed to see the attractions and animals. I was proud of my MIL who went on the Sky Screamer with Hubby. She is one brave senior (she got the senior rate at Marinland so for today she was a Senior.

Hadassah was able to go on a few kiddies rides. This was great because the midway at the fall fair in town does not let the kids on any rides if they are under 36'. For my 30" daughter it is going to be a while before she gets to experience those rides. There was even a kid's roller coaster she could go on. Which the little speed junkie loved! When my photos are uploaded I will get pictures on here.

Dassa's other favourite was the underwater viewing areas. She loved watching the Belugas swim about. It was definitely worth bringing her and sharing this experience with her. Just because she won't remember doesn't mean we won't and it doesn't mean she didn't thoroughly enjoy it.

After Marineland the toddler had her only nap of the day for 1/2hr in the car and then we went to the Rainforest Cafe for supper. I love eating there and apparently so does my daughter because she polished off a lot of food! We walked to the falls to see it lit up at night and then headed to the Guinness World Book of Records Museum. Now we are in bed ready for a good night's sleep and hopefully as wonderful tomorrow as today.

Did I mention that today it was in the high twenties? Yes, that is right. Hot and wonderful. A last taste of sunshine before winter. Yes, I said winter.

Busy avoiding a poopy bum.

A few months ago my darling daughter pooped in potty. She would sit and poop and sometimes pee in her potty then put her arms out that she was done. We then cheered and clapped over her accomplishment. (ah, to be young and bowel movements in the toilet be "cute"). Then she got sick and we lost the toilet training we are working on. In fact, if she is having trouble pooping all I have to do is put her on the toilet and voila, she poops after I take her off and get her diaper back on.

Now, I am not worried. My daughter isn't even two yet. But for quite a few months I rarely had to change those vile toddler poops. I got spoiled. But children don't always do what we want. And sometimes, I find for myself at least, I think they purposefully do the opposite of what we want. While this can be true... it isn't always. Yes, kid's are smarter than we often give them credit for but I know, as a reasonable adult, that my child doesn't poop her diaper just because mommy has to change her then.

What an interesting post this is after not blogging for a time.  Once again, I planned for my blog to be deep and meaningful, even profound. Instead I talk about my daughter's poopy bum.  And enough talk, time to deal with it.