My Last Month

It is hard to believe that in a little over a month there will be a little boy in my arms (or girl, won't that be a surprise?). One of the benefits of a scheduled c-section (which should be scheduled tomorrow for sure) is that you know when you are going to have the baby and can really, truly plan. Of course you have to be prepared for an early c-section. Matt can book his week off. Mom can arrange things to come and help. And I can make myself a chocolate advent calendar...

But as it approaches there are downsides to the event. Recovery being the big one. I hate surgery, I hate needles, I hate spinals and I hate that awful feeling of not being quite right after. And then of course I have another surgery in six weeks or so to look forward to. I definitely would not choose a c-section could I have it another way.

Christmas was wonderful and so was New Years. Seeing friends, having parties, eating food and opening presents. I am sad it is over. Yes, it was a lot of fun but the other reason is it helped give me something to look forward to that kept my mind of my pregnancy. Now all I have left is the waiting. And Hadassah's 2nd Birthday.

Happy New Year everyone and I hope you all had a wonderful holiday!

Just a little longer

But I try not to think about it. Instead I think about Christmas next weekend and how it is already practically here. And after that I will think about the New Year. After that is Dassa's second birthday and then I can think about Baby finally being yanked from my womb (doesn't that just sound wonderful). What I try not to think about is no more sleep, recovering from surgery, making sure Dassa receives lots of love and of course having to have a hernia operation...

Instead I think about getting my body back to a size I am comfortable with, no longer having aching hips and having my hormones quiet it down a little bit. My husband pointed out to me today that he knew we were having a boy because I was so hormonal this pregnancy... I'm allowed to say that but hearing it from him well, I swallowed the angry words rising to my mouth and remained silent.

This will be our last natural child. Perhaps we will adopt or foster in the future but we do know we are done. Do I feel any pangs over this decision? No, not really. Right now the pregnancy is a walk in the park compared to when I was 32 weeks with Hadassah but even that isn't enough. Matt and I feel that two kids is really quite good. The world has got expensive, I am a terrible pregnant person and I honestly don't want to put myself through this again.

It is funny how we change our minds. Before my first pregnancy in the land of sunshine and roses we wanted five kids. During my pregnancy with Hadassah that number dropped rapidly to two. It never went back up. And do you know what my only disappointment is? That I don't get to use all the wonderful names I have! And due to Dassa's allergies I can't even collect cats and name them. Instead I guess we'll have to go with chickens.

I still plan to encourage and harass other people that they should have more kids. So long as nothing has been done to make that impossible I'll be all about other people having lots of babies. Hypocritical? maybe. But if anyone turns it back on me I'll just smile and say: "It is called Tubal Litigation, no more babies for me!"

Arriving home.

Today I came home after being gone since yesterday morning. I came home to a house in better shape than I left it. The stuff piled in the entry was put away, the carpet's were vacuumed, and the laundry was finished and put away. Even the bed was made neatly. I know that I am blessed with the best husband ever but times like these really remind me how much that is true.

About five minutes later I was yelling at him in frustration (he wasn't actually here) because I could not get the lid off the mayo jar. Once again I am reminded of how much we (or at least I) love to dwell on the negative. My husband had did far beyond what was necessary and yet one tiny little thing caused me to forget it and want to through a jar at his head. Let's just say I felt very convicted and did not mention the mayo jar when he got home but rather told him how glad I was to have all the stuff out of the entry and a tidy house. I also baked him brownies...

Okay, okay, the brownies were backed yesterday with a young friend and they were more for our sweet tooth than kindness towards everyone else. But I shared the brownies and that is saying a lot because they are quite good (thank you, Erica).

Which leads me to another interesting observation, though perhaps far less deep, that I have had recently. Remember how I said I was doing better weight wise this time around even though I started the pregnancy heavier? Well, I have recently discovered I am having a craving. During my pregnancy with Dassa I lost my taste for chocolate and ice cream. Something I didn't really get back until now. Now I love chocolate and ice cream. Pictures of chocolate cake make me desperate to for a piece. So I have decided that chocolate and ice cream are not as fattening as chili dogs and gravy, my Hadassah cravings. Or perhaps I just eat less of the sweet stuff.

Still haven't had many guesses on the baby. Two days until we find out so get your guesses in!

The volatile pregnant lady

If you haven't guessed already I am the volatile pregnant lady. For some reason this pregnancy I have been on a much larger emotional roller coaster. I seem to have less gumption to rein in the tears and I also like to pick fights with my husband. I know I am being unreasonable but I have the hardest time stopping myself! I have to say I have one well used pregnancy card. I can also say my husband is fully with me on the decision of having only two children. In fact, I think he would make the decision without me if I wanted more!

Yesterday was a good example of me being on the edge. We took our daughter to the nearby city to see her pediatrician. It is basically just for him to say she is little, smart and on her own growth curve. But this time he wanted to do some blood work for allergies now that she is a little older and just double check her growth hormone. Her appointment was at 1:30 and we hadn't really got done anything before but I was already exhausted. At the hospital I pulled the pregnancy card when the room was too small for both my husband and I to be in with her and I got to sit in the waiting room. It was a bad move as hearing her screams from another room made me one to run in there and rescue her. In the end they couldn't get enough blood for all the tests and I have to take her in again to give more blood.

For the rest of our city shopping trip we had a very upset little girl who insisted on being carried. I must say my husband and I were definitely very edgy as Dassa spent a lot of time screaming in stores when we were forced to sit her in the cart for a break or just to look at something. She is usually very good in public so we are not used to dealing with her like this in a store. In the end I just wanted to cry. I didn't want to go into another store or even have something different to eat. We went to Mcdonalds and then headed home. I almost didn't want to make our last stop. Which was to pick up our two new cats.

Yes, that is right, we now have five cats. But I am married so cannot be a crazy cat lady!

But in all this I did have a highlight of the day. When we were in the mall and I was feeling like I couldn't take another step I heard someone say, "What a beautiful pregnant woman." Not really thinking it was being said to me but being a pregnant woman  I looked towards the voice to meet the eyes of a middle aged woman. She smiled at me and the said "You are a lovely pregnant person".

I smiled, thanked her and felt much better. I am used to people commenting on my daughter. But her words, words for me only, made me feel special. Something that as a mother and pregnant person I really needed. I thank God for sending her across my path and pray he blesses her for her kindness.

So you see, the smallest thing can brighten someone's day. It is a reminder to me that complimenting people should come as easy and natural to us as censoring or criticizing them.

The Epilator!

So the title tells all. Unless of course you don't know what an Epilator is...  and now that you have read my handy link you know. Don't you feel smarter?

I decided after an evening of my leg hair regrowth torturing me with itching that I needed to google some help on the subject. It seemed that as dryness and irritation due to the shaving lotion was already ruled out for me I should try waxing or epilating. I've tried waxing and DYI was so annoying and messy I decided never to do it again. And I can't even imagine what salons charge up here if my eyebrows now cost $30!

So, epilation it was. The only problem was that the epilator at walmart was $74.99. I was not going to pay that to try it out. While on our trip I came across the smaller version for $54.99 and decided to buy it. And yesterday I used it for the first time.

OUCH!

Actually, I am totally joking. It hardly hurt at all. In fact I kind of wanted to try my bikini line and armpits too but decided I was getting a little hair ripping out crazy and just stuck with the legs. I don't know yet if it is an improvement on shaving. I don't think I will know for a little while yet. I am supposed to epilate once a week to start with. As it didn't take long I don't mind that idea. There were a few sensitive areas on my skin but that could also be due to the sores from scratching (totally disregarded the warning about not doing it on broken skin or consulting a doctor if pregnant. Frankly, I am sick of these companies telling pregnant woman to constantly consult a doctor. Umm, I'm pretty sure I'll be fine, but thanks for covering your butts.

So that is my story for today. I survived epilation and plan to continue doing it and see if the results are better than those from shaving.

In other news my OB/GYN is back in 10 days and then I can make the appointment to find out a little bit more about this person inside me.

RLS - just another trial

Once again, typing on my iPhone. So there may be odd mistakes or completely wrong words thanks to auto-correct, my nemisis.

If you know what RLS stands for than you most likely suffer from it. Restless Leg Syndrome for those who don't. I've had it for as long as I can remember but I didn't always know it actually had a name and others struggled with it. I don't have it very bad. There are people that take medication for it. The only time I really can say it is bad is when I am pregnant. And then you can't take anything.

For those of you who don't know what it is, basically it is what it is called. And it is usually worse at night when you want to fall asleep but your legs make you feel like you are going crazy. When it is really bad nothing helps besides getting up and walking around which is hard to do when all you want to do is sleep.

But I have found something that helps me anyways. A massage pillow or cushion that viberates. If it is one of those neck pillows you place it between your calves and turn it on. I discovered this in my first pregnancy. Unfortunately I killed two of those babies. Well this pregnancy it started again when I hit my second trimester. It started to become more than the usual once in a while suffering. And there were no massage neck pillows to be found. So my husband bought me the back massage ones that have heat. This baby is ten times better! All I have to do is lay it under my legs, plug it in and go to sleep. It doesn't shut off so if the restlessness leaves in the night I just turn it off on one of my many pee breaks. The downside? Apparently it will drive your spouse from the bed to the couch. Which later on might not be a bad thing when I am feeling huge and want more space at night in our bed!

So there you have it. An outlet to a condition that causes the sufferer to lose much needed sleep.

I know This was not a very deep post but I hope it helps at least one other person find relief from RLS.

And for my faithful friends. Thank you for your prayers. After some gravol and iv fluids last Night I am on the mend.