A feeling of relief

Yesterday I invited my parents over for lunch. It turned out well and the biggest highlight was that my house is now clean and supper is ready for tonight. Being able to just sit and relax without feeling guilty is so nice. I really should do this more often. I mean, I sit and relax a lot but usually I feel guilty because of all the things I should be doing instead.

I still have a lot of things I could be doing but the fact that my house is clean...

okay, my train of though is completely gone. My daughter just straddled my belly, sat on my hands and started hugging me. And now I can't get back in the flow.  But I think my point is relaxing guilt free is nicer than relaxing whilst feeling guilty... or that is what we'll say it was.

My c-section has been officially booked for Feb 6. I find out what time this Friday... Only one more weekend of it just the three of us. It is really hard to believe it is here. I've survived a second pregnancy! More importantly, those around me have survived though my husband may be scarred.

I am nervous about this but mostly because I hate that sicky feeling you have after surgery. I hate not feeling quite right and I also do not enjoy spinals. Not that I know of anyone who actually does... Last time it was a relief because I was in labour and suddenly the pain was gone. This time I will feel fine. I am also nervous about breastfeeding. I did not enjoy it with Hadassah. It was a year of frustration and though I know that was thanks to allergies I still was very relieved when she weaned herself. I'd like to say I am going to do it because it is best for baby but honestly it is because I don't want to pay for formula. Besides, the whole thing about children being less prone to allergies if they are breastfed seems a mute point to me now.

I would love for everyone to pray that things go well and I recover quickly. And that our son will not have the allergies Hadassah has.